Promise and commit.

Trust issue, doubt of every action that has been taken and being traumatic are actually due to the unexpected and unwanted event that had occurred in our life once in a lifetime. I had once, gotta deal with the trust issue bcs of friendship. Being doubt of every action taken bcs the trust issue had been broken before. I even once, live in a traumatic life and had been livied in it for a year.

Nonetheless, all of those aren't matter anymore. What is matter the most right now is how i live to avoid from going through all those hard times again. I know we aren't perfect and might repeat the same mistake all over again but the truth is, the first unexpected event supposed to be the lesson to be learned. But the second unexpected event? It is where Allah "jentik hati kita" so that we realize that we actually lose his track for once again.

"Alhamdulillah" bcs Allah still lend me those feelings for once again and at the same time remind me how wrack my life could be if i love a person more than i love myself.

Throughout those unexpected events, i blame myself for letting those feelings control my soul. I do admit that it is good to have the feeling being loved by your love ones. I also admit that it is cute to be taken care of and i do admit that, all those feelings are not permanent if you aren't ready to commit to it.

So here i am, writing on my personal unprivate dairy just to remind myself how low i could be if i let all those traumatic emotions and unexpected events conquer my soul. I used to promise to myself "i won't let myself drawn into the unfaithful life again" and now, i am ready to commit with it permanently. 

Have a good day ahead everyone!

Love, tims.