I don’t know how to start it but all I can say that I’m weak like seriously weak. Lately, I can’t sleep properly. I tried so hard to sleep well but I just can’t and couldn’t find any proper reasons for this thing. Sometimes I just wanna shout and cry bcs im too tired but why I couldn’t sleep? I need to have enough sleep since I got lots of chores to do on the next day. There’s one day, I’m too tired and already felt sleepy on 9pm. So, I make up my mind to sleep and the last time before I finally can close my eyes, I looked into my watch… and it’s 9.37pm. I felt nothing and I guess I sleep well on that time. But time flies so slow.. for sudden, I woke up on 11.55pm. LIKE SERIOUSLY? I still felt tired but why? Why I already woke up? I need to go to sleep back! But after few hours struggling to close my eyes… I still can’t sleep. It’s like… hm I can’t describe this feeling. And you know what, the day keep repeating again and again until now. I’m tired but only could sleep after 4am. I make an experiment on my daily life and yes, after being so tired for the whole day… I could only sleep after 4am. But still, have to wake up for subuh and sometimes I’m too tired and can’t even wake up for subuh. The struggle is so real for me!
But hey, you know what… im not having probs on my nap time only but I’m having problems with my eating time too. How funny when people who used to eat a lot suddenly couldn’t even eat a spoon of rice! I’m hungry and I eat but it’s like a waste when after I ate, I must vomit it back! On the first time facing this probs, I thought I’m going to period bcs instead of having period pain, I also have morning sickness before my period come. I know it’s sounds weird but to me, it’s normal and there’s lots of girls out there might have worst period pain than me. So back to my story, this problem keep happening after my period cycle has stop. It's weird and still couldn't find any proper reasons for this thing.
Moon, i need myself back. I need my energy like i used to have. Ya Allah, please gain me some strength to face Your challenges. I know i can face all of these things and that's why i was chosen. But still, i'm seriously weak with having not enough sleep and couldn't eat properly :( i'm not insomnia and not even have aneroxia nor bullimia disease before this but having this hard time make me feel like having mental illness. You know when you doesn't have enough sleep your brain will be like.. ting tongg... and you'll get angry easily. But.. idk hm all i hope i'll be fine before going back to uni.
My Sick Soul.