unprivate diary.

Trust issue, doubt of every action that has been taken and being traumatic are actually due to the unexpected and unwanted event that had occurred in our life once in a lifetime. I had once, gotta deal with the trust issue bcs of friendship. Being doubt of every action taken bcs the trust issue had been broken before. I even once, live in a traumatic life and had been livied in it for a year. Nonetheless, all of those aren't matter anymore. What is matter the most right now is how i live to avoid from going through all those hard times again. I know we aren't perfect and might repeat the same mistake all over again but the truth is, the first unexpected event supposed to be the lesson to be learned. But the second unexpected event? It is where Allah " jentik hati kita " so that we realize that we actually lose his track for once again. "Alhamdulillah" bcs Allah still lend me those feelings for once again and at the same time remind me how wrack my li

Hello, peeps! As today is the last night of Ramadhan for this year, i think owe myself a memories to be remembered. The good and the bad memories that I've been through in this holly month. I swear, some of it was unbearable but i made it! Some feel like sweetest sugar that i ever taste but then, after all those memories i can conclude that "throughout my worst, Allah always prepared what is the best for me". Alhamdulillah, I'm proud of myself who had once felt so low but now I'm still standing on my two feets witnessing my own life where i think currently i did everything at my best. Here are some of the thoughtful thoughts that i kept in myself since last year; I used to be timid to walk away from my past life I kept putting myself into the undecided world All i see was the darkness but kept convincing myself; "To go through the sweetest, you gotta taste some bitter life"  FAILED!  ALL I RECEIVED WAS THE TOUGH AND BITTER LIFE. M

Me to myself; There's point in my life where i feel like i wanna cry hardly for nothing which it is currently happening to me right now. I wish to express to people but it remain undefined. I wish to break through this wall, but im afraid if i hurt myself even more. Apparently, all i can do is crying and seeing myself in the mirror is enough to explain my condition right now. Am i doing things out of desperation? Does it worth to cure your undefined emotions? ((The mind remain silent as nothing happens but tears keep burst up)) At this stage of life, all i need is myself to understand that life is hard but worth to go through it for a better future. I know i wasn't perfect enough and i know, most of the time my insecurities does kills me silently. But think about it again, it is worth to live in that situation? ((The numbness feeling remain silent while accompanying by the rain drops)) Here am i today, cried as hardly as the stormy heavy rain. I would like to p