Another year, another blessing year!

 Bismillah. It has been for a while since i didn't update anything in here. 

So, here i am. Assalamualaikum & happy Tuesday! 💫

As i am being private to myself, distracting myself from social medias, been shut down several accounts and here i am; readily to embrace and bloom for once again. I admit that i had once been so lowkey low and almost removed myself to every circle that i had live with before. Partly has been removed permanently and part of them are still here with me. I'm so grateful for it, the years, moment and life that we had cherish together will always stay in my memory. Forever and always! 

The fact that today is the day that i feel rebirth for once again had made me really proud of myself. I never once had the thought that i am going through the current life that i am living right now. I feel like living in a fantasy but it is real. Now, i am truly understand the definition of "you can only love, when you truly let go". I don't really remember where do i heard it but now, i do understand it. I finally got to admit that Allah did plan for something better for me. Allah did want me to learn something before He replace it with something else. Allah did listen to my every "doa", tears and hope that i put in Him whenever i felt lost before. I wish to look myself back then and tell the naive me; 

"You did very well. Thank you for being so brave to let go. Thank you for always trying your best. Thank you for the good words that you keep playing in your mind whenever you're about to give up. Thank you to make sure for not repeating the same mistake. I am so proud of you. Two years is such a long time but you made it. The bumpy road did lead you to the better life. Thank you wouldn't be enough so i promise that i won't let my guard down anymore." 

It is such a blessing year of 2021. Frankly honest, i spend more than 9 hours of crying under my blanket on 23 March 2020. But that is truly fine. I never feel like the tears is such a waste but i called it as "life". The life that i never thought i could go through. I know that i don't deserve to feel that way anymore and that is why, slowly i learn to let go. 

"Let go and let God" -Mizi Wahid. 

There so much thing that i wish to share but i think the best thing to do is just let it store in my mind. Bcs you know what? Instead of telling what i had gone thru, i have more stories on the happiness that i felt today. I swear, everything happened unexpectedly. Starting from having my own career, living independently as an adult, planning my own cash flows, meeting new people (roommate and my housemates for sure!) and lastly, having a soulmate that i am comfort with. As i starting live by my own, i felt like i am actually getting closer to my ayah. A short conversation really meant a lot to me and a good "goodbye" always soothe my ears before i end it. 

Oh, Lord. I have so much to speak up but i choose to live with it privately. May all the plan will be ease and every relationship that i am living with will be bless by Him. 

Anyway, i am truly, honestly and completely grateful with everything. It is such a great year and i would thank to few close girlfriends who had been there throughout my worst and the person who made my life completely change. The wise words, conversation and unexpected meet up did make me wake up from the unfaithful life and this, has made me really bless with the circle that i am still have. 

Love, 
tims