unprivate diary.

Dear moon,  I don’t know how to start it but all I can say that I’m weak like seriously weak. Lately, I can’t sleep properly. I tried so hard to sleep well but I just can’t and couldn’t find any proper reasons for this thing. Sometimes I just wanna shout and cry bcs im too tired but why I couldn’t sleep? I need to have enough sleep since I got lots of chores to do on the next day. There’s one day, I’m too tired and already felt sleepy on 9pm. So, I make up my mind to sleep and the last time before I finally can close my eyes, I looked into my watch… and it’s 9.37pm. I felt nothing and I guess I sleep well on that time. But time flies so slow.. for sudden, I woke up on 11.55pm. LIKE SERIOUSLY? I still felt tired but why? Why I already woke up? I need to go to sleep back! But after few hours struggling to close my eyes… I still can’t sleep. It’s like… hm I can’t describe this feeling. And you know what, the day keep repeating again and again until now. I’m tired but only could slee...

"Love and to be Loved" It's part of basic human needs in life. But bear in your mind, Not everything that you "love", you'll get it. Sometimes you might have it, but then you gotta let it go. Sometimes you might not have it now, but later.. you'll get it. Sometimes you have it now, and still hold into it until now. And sometimes you didn't get it, and still not gonna have it. That's what we call "the possibility in life". When you get it, but lose it. Allah want to test you bcs He knows you can face it.  So stay calm and face it. When you lose it, but suddenly you got what you want. That means, Allah just want you to be patient. Stay patient now and you'll get your happiness in future. When you have it, and still hold into it. That means, Allah already give what you want. And it's your job to keep it. Hold it tightly, and never let it go. When you lose it, and will never have it. That means, Allah want...

When i look at your face, I feel happiness. When i look into your eyes, I feel the pain faded. When i talk to you, I feel calm. When i hug you, I feel warm. When i was at my lowest point, I feel you in my soul. When i'm with you, I thanked to Allah for giving me this kind of friend. The friend who lift me up when i was down. The friend who listen to my probs till 3a.m. The friend who dance with me without feel shame during riadah. The friend who laugh so hard when i'm trying my best to use "aku" "kau". The friend who help me reply those irritating text during recess time. The friend who become over protecting me when somebody hurts me. The friend who always entertain me just to make sure i'm okay. The friend i never knew that we could be this close. Ika, I do forget your birthday was yesterday. But that doesn't mean i've forgotten you. Bcs you're one of the unforgettable people that i've welcomed into ...

Have you ever thought of leaving someone that you loves? Yaa, well if you have that kind of thought think twice bfore you start it. It may not hurt you, but it may hurt people that loves you. Have you ever thought of helping your loves one? And yet, they don't even appreciate it and even repay you with a piece of shit? If you do, then leave them alone. They just don't deserve your present. Have you ever feel like giving up on something that you've been try so hard for a long time? So well, if you do... think about it again Try to imagine your parents face. How disappointed they will be. Try and think about it first Everything that happened in our life have their own reasons. All you have to do is start thinking what's the pros and cons of doing those. You might that it just a lil thing. But just remember, that this lil thing might ruin your precious future. Future? Yaa future. By the right time has come, you'll see. ...

DUA OKTOBER. Kau sedar tak yang spm tinggal sebulan sahaja? Kau sudah bangkitkah drpd khayalanmu? Kau sudah bermulakah membuka semula segala nota-nota yang telah engkau tinggalkan? Kalau belum, "FIKIR" Pertempuran engkau bermula pada 3 NOVEMBER & sekarang sudah 2 OKTOBER Adakah sudah cukup ilmu d'dadamu untuk bertempur? Pertempuran ini hanyalah sekali Sekali seumur hidupmu Tapi kalau nak bertempur dua kali pun boleh. Ada ramai orang yang menaruh harapan pada engkau Mereka ingin melihat kejayaanmu Sanggupkah engkau hancurkan harapan mereka? Ada insan yang diluar sana Yang ingin menduduki pertempuran ini Tetapi disebabkan kekurangan modal Mereka tidak dapat bertempur bersama-sama Engkau beruntung. Ada yang sakit seperti tiada harapan untuk sembuh Menyebabkan mereke tidak dapat hadir bertempur bersama-sama Engkau sihat. Ada yang cacat Tapi masih berjaya  Berjaya dalam pertempuhan yang sama seperti engkau duduki Tak malukah? Ada ...

Pernah tak korang rasa macam apa yang korang buat smuanya atas dasar sayang, tapi apa yang kau buat tak d'terima and dalam masa yang singkat, kau mula hilang orang orang yang kau sayang. Pernah kau rasa? Em, mesti sakit kan? Sebenarnya, aku tak kesah kalau orang nak tinggalkan aku.. tapi aku jadi kesah bila orang yang tinggalkan aku tuh, orang yang aku dah anggap as a family and lagi lagi dulunya selalu sama sama tapi smua tuh hilang sekelip mata. Tapi cerita aku lagi sedih, sebab aku tak sempat nak kelip mata orang yang aku sayang tuh dah hilang. I mean hilang meninggalkan aku. Tapi tak apalah, ibu cakap maybe dyorg bukan jodoh kita selamanya and tak smua orang yang ada dalam life kita akan setia dengan kita selamanya. Mula mula bila ibu bagi macam macam nasihat, aku jadi okay tapi bila aku berdepan dengan smua orang, automatik aku jadi tak okay. Tak okay sebab apa tau, sebab dulu aku rasa orang yang aku sayang itulah kekuatan tapi tapi sekarang, bila orang yang aku sayang tuh da...

Pernah tak korang rasa macam nak give up on something or someone yang pada mulanya kau rasa kau boleh kekal dengan semua tuh? Contohnya; kau ada kawan or someone that you loves and kau sayang gila dekat diorang but at the end, korang berpisah tanpa sebarang kata kata? Maksud aku kawan or orang yang kau sayang gila tuh tinggalkan kau or ignore kau macam tuh je. Pernah rasa tak?  Pada aku, tak salah pun kau nak tinggalkan or ignore orang. But at least, bagi lah explanation bagi diorang faham. Kalau tak boleh cakap f2f pun, text dia or suruh orang lain tolong explainkan. But then, kalau kau tinggalkan or ignore diorang macam tuh, macam mana orang nak faham setiap tindakan kau? And the worst part is, baik baik orang nak sangka baik dengan tindakan kau, orang boleh jadi benci tau tak? Bukan benci apa. Cuma benci bila boleh jadi salah faham. Mungkin pada kau, kau nak diorang faham sendiri dengan tindakan kau tapi kau tak boleh expect semua orang boleh faham. Even sebenarnya kau tau d...